How to talk about Coronavirus - and other tough topics - at work
Make space for emotion to mitigate anxiety, disconnection and burnout
As the number of confirmed cases of the Coronavirus continues to rise, organizations and governments worldwide are taking unprecedented steps to respond to the outbreak, from having the majority of their workforce stay home and work remotely, to banning travel and canceling in-person events.
But are leaders also taking the equally important measure of talking to people about their fears and feelings?
Many of us buy into a certain set of myths when it comes to emotions at work. Even though emotions play a central role in our lives, we’re trained to believe that ‘professionals’ maintain an even emotional keel, and do not express emotions that might make others uncomfortable.
In reality, the cost of suppressing emotions can be steep. When we suppress what we feel, our feelings can intensify and impact our work and our working relationships. We may withdraw from social interaction, withhold ideas and information, and are more likely to engage in irrational decisions and behavior. Our stress levels and anxiety also increase, which can lead to increased conflict, sickness, and burnout.
In fact, our emotions serve a valuable purpose: fear, for example, exists to give us the energy and focus needed to orient to and navigate threat, change and novel situations. At times like these, where change is a constant and no one has a playbook, some level of fear is natural and even useful.
So how do we stop suppressing and start talking to each other about our fears and feelings at work?
Let’s look at an example of one workplace conversation:
Tanya: I’m not sure how long this travel ban is going to last. I certainly don’t want to travel at a time like this, and I’m worried that we won’t be able to hit our targets if I don’t.
Paul: Well, that must feel scary, tell me more about that.
Tanya: It is scary, I have two people in my family that are high risk and the Coronavirus would be very dangerous for them. At the same time, if I don’t hit my targets, will I still have a job and be able to support them?
Paul: I can see how this puts you in a bind and could feel really stressful. What kind of support would feel most helpful to you right now?
Let’s unpack this conversation...
Step 1: Listen for the emotions, not facts
When you are having a conversation with someone at work, tune into and name the emotion the person is trying to express. People feel four primary emotions: angry, scared, happy, and sad. When naming emotions - your own or someone else’s - it’s completely ok to stick to just those four words.
In the example conversation above, Paul named that Tanya is feeling scared, even though Tanya never used those words. Paul could have focused on the facts and then said, “Oh, you worry too much. I looked at the numbers and the likelihood of you catching it is very low.” This would have made Tanya feel worse, because on top of feeling scared, she would have felt wrong for feeling scared. Tanya would then use her discretionary energy to suppress her emotions. She might hold back from Paul next time.
Step 2: Keep the focus on them, not you
After naming the emotion, keep the focus and attention on the other person by inviting that person to open up and connect more deeply to what they are feeling.
In the example conversation above, Paul did that by saying, “tell me more about that.” He could have turned the focus back on himself and talked about how much harder it is for him. This would have changed the conversation to be about Paul’s feelings, not Tanya’s, leaving her to continue to feel scared, unheard, and possibly, unsupported.
Step 3: Offer support, not solutions
At this point in the conversation, it can be tempting to offer solutions in a bid to help fix the other person’s feelings. While difficult emotions are uncomfortable and it’s natural for us to want to try to get out of that discomfort as quickly as possible, try to fight the urge to fix and, instead, solicit next steps from the other person. In the example conversation above, Paul said, “I can see how this puts you in a bind and could feel really stressful. What kind of support would feel most helpful to you right now?”
Usually, just having the conversation where they feel heard and validated in their emotions is the solution people need. Once they talk about their emotions, people’s energy is freed up to be able to tap back into their own wisdom and creativity, where they can find their own solutions.
Talking about challenging topics at work - whether an economic downturn, a public health emergency, or a major organizational restructuring - can feel challenging to most. But it’s worth going there.
In the words of Dr. Brene Brown, “Leaders must invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings, or an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” With practice, this type of conversation will feel more natural and go a long way to help all the humans we work with navigate change and anxiety more effectively at work.
Cheers,
Alla Weinberg and the People Piece Team
Alla Weinberg is a facilitator, coach and experience designer at The People Piece. If we can be of any help to you or your organization during times of change and challenge, please do not hesitate to contact us. Our facilitators can provide coaching and training on how to have difficult conversations, manage remotely, stay strategic, and maintain team focus, morale, and cohesion.
Coronavirus and Work: Successfully navigating uncertainty, anxiety and change
Webinar / March 19, 2020
Times like these often require rapid and significant adaptation, from changing strategies to remote work. In order to succeed, leaders, managers, teams and HR departments need more than good plans and adequate technology - we must focus on the people piece of uncertainty and change.
People Piece Founder Roni Krouzman and People Piece coach Alla Weinberg host an interactive, virtual conversation on the people piece of the Coronavirus and Work: how we’re all feeling during this uncertain time, what kinds of reactions we might expect from others, and how to talk about it, so all employees feel connected, supported, and focused.
Leaders, managers, HR, team members, and anyone interested in understanding and paying attention to the emotional side of this crisis are welcome to join.