Get Better at Conflict
As we shared in our blog post earlier this month, some element of conflict is natural in any relationship. In fact, conflict can be good - especially at work.
While unhealthy conflict threatens to increase tension, damage relationships and inhibit innovation, healthy conflict helps to build trust, align teams and foster better ideas. Yet despite its benefits, most people, teams and organizations tend to avoid conflict rather than risk incurring its potentially negative consequences. They lose its value in the process.
So what is the case for conflict exactly, and how can we constructively leverage its power? We’ve picked five potent resources that will help you increase your comfort with conflict and learn to navigate it more effectively.
Stop Being So Nice
That’s what CEO Matt Macinnis says in this provocative piece for Fast Company. Macinnis explains what conflict avoidance costs organizations and makes the case for seeking to engage with disagreements by adhering to 5 foundational principles - rather than avoiding them all together. In Macinnis’s words, “To drive results, we need to get comfortable with making one another a little more uncomfortable.”
When Emotions Run High
Bill Ury wrote the book on Negotiation. Literally. His 1981 classic, Getting to Yes, lays out the fundamentals for reaching agreements with others - whether a landlord, boss, or used car salesman. (If you want a potent taste of his concepts, Ury’s Ted Talk, The Walk from Yes to No, is engaging and practical). What happens when emotions run high? Ury followed up Getting to Yes with a lesser known yet highly useful work, Getting Past No. Check it out if you want to get better at working out day to day disagreements more effectively, at work and at home.
Expand Your Toolkit
Conflict can be a potent force - if it is handled well. In this article, eight HR leaders and business owners offer their top tips for dealing with conflict, from sticking to the facts and leading by example to building team cohesion and communicating business values. In case you missed our recent blog on the topic, we highlight a 4-step process for resolving disagreements that builds on many of the same principles.
Conflict can be challenging. While embracing it can be risky, we believe the pros far outweigh the cons.
The key is a shift in mindset - from conflict as a bad thing to be avoided, to conflict as necessary and even useful - coupled with concrete tools for resolving disagreements and strengthening relationships. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
Wishing you success in your efforts,
Roni and The People Piece Team
PS - Get in touch if you’d like to learn more about how our skills-based trainings and team development facilitations can help your people grow more comfortable with conflict and gain practical skills to leverage the power of disagreements. If you think more data might convince your colleagues conflict is worth the trouble, this comprehensive study by organization development publisher CPP has all the ammo you’ll need.